Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Thursday, July 18, 2013

UGT

Engineering second semester, in the classroom
Time: Around 6 pm

I still clearly remember every moment of that discussion about 7 years back. Fond memories of after college talks with people who were in no rush to reach home; had many such days, this one a little more special.

First semester had just ended. Engineering had bestowed many brutal realities upon us. Clearly, we had to find a path beyond the regular to make it a bit more interesting for us. 9 to 5 was not the time to get the best out of the system. By getting the best, I do not mean transforming our scores from the lower 60's to the 70's. In the long run, that did not have much utility.

So that day, a select few in that room were brainstorming about what can we do to make our journey more enjoyable. I walked up to the blackboard and drew a square with 4 quadrants. I still don’t know why I did that. I did not even know what I was going to write in that. Some of the best marketing ideas have come out of such 4 quadrant analysis. I was not sure that this was going to live up to that, but knew that we had a starting point.

Someone in front of me said, let’s write down the 4 most important things that we want from engineering. Brilliant idea! Let’s do it!

First quadrant, we all agreed that we would want to stay afloat in our courses, and sail through it, if not cruise through, to land up a decent job, admission to a good higher education school. Aiming to be in the top 5 of the class and other such thrills which you typically feel when you begin your engineering had slowly started to fade.

Second quadrant was geared up towards personal development. We wanted to continue honing our skills to do something beyond regular classes. Be it drawing pictures, photography, making a wired/ wireless robot (lots of engineers have craze I this) and calling him 'Shantaram', writing blogs, playing cricket, football. These were the things you would remember out of college; the 26 runs in one over was more important than calculating the gain of a CE amplifier (FYI: I do not know what that is, just remembered that we were troubled by a 20 marks problem in some semester on it).

Third quadrant was being amongst the most active people in class. Being involved in every major activity, having good after college discussions, good group activities, some in the social front. We thought of giving these discussions a fancy name. Let’s call it ‘Beer Barricade’ one of us said. I don’t know why we agreed on that, perhaps we couldn't think of something better that day. Besides, that name could have meant two things, we drink so much beer that we form a barricade from the empty bottles. Or it could mean forming a barricade between the beer and us, that we do all the things, but never drink beer. I frankly don’t know what the founder of this group intended, he may someday tell me. Later a much sophisticated version of this rolled out, called the ‘chai club’. I think it is still a part of SP college, maybe not by the same name, but something different, same intentions, have a healthy discussion about topics important to us. We lived up to our expectation in this quadrant far more than the others.

The fourth quadrant, we gave a lot of thought into what will go into it. It was going to be the missing part of the puzzle. After deep thought, we all agreed that fourth part is going to find a girl and get hooked up at the end of 4 years. Need not be from our college, from our city; it was a step that would complete the journey! We called this 4 point / 4 quadrant theory as Ăšltimate Goal Theory’ or (UGT).

If I look back down the years, maybe it was not the best of theories. But it laid the foundation of many such great theories down the path.


For all those interested, none of the people involved in the conversation that day got hooked up in the four year timeframe. Some came very close to it, some kept knocking the wrong door but nobody completed the last part of the puzzle. We all can claim credit for the other three quadrants though!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Smooth Transitions

For some reasons, transitions have been super smooth for me. Be it from School to Junior College, College to Engineering, Engineering to MS.

Somehow, the 'firsts' of everything have been near perfect. The start of something new. The time when people around you run with all the 'Goody-Goody' projection of themselves. In a couple of months, the make-up fades and you see the real faces.

The last hop of the transition till now has been 'The most interesting one'. Coming to US, everything is new. You are away from everything, the perfect set of friends you had back at home in India, your parents, your family everyone. In the first month of landing in US, you have a hundred different stories happening around you. The job search stories, house hunt stories, roommate trouble stories, rumors et al.

Basically you are loaded with too much stuff to keep it to yourself. You are on the lookout for new avenues to vent out these stories. Damn!!!You run into the wrong person and your story is a broadcast in the entire batch. Trust, who, what, when???

The 'Trust Building' period is amazing. Here, you are not too sure about the people who you can trust. At the same time, you are projecting yourself as a trustworthy person. It's tricky. If you reveal too much about yourself, you are more likely to land in trouble than adding a new friend to circle of trust. On the other hand, if you remain that person who holds on to their cards for long, you might remain holding on to them forever and watch other people play.

I use some really stupid but effective tricks for navigating around this maze. I use some really 'trivial information (hyped up, of course) which I absolutely do not care about' and tell the 'Target' person about it and ask him or her to not reveal it to anyone.If I come to know about it from someone else within a week, i know what to do!

The beginning is always interesting, you remember it at all the twists and turns. Now, when I am right there knocking at the exit door of MS, everything has pretty much stabilized. The glass is clear. I miss those times. I see the juniors revisiting these times and I really want to be one of them right. Or wait a second, do I?? When I get a job, it will be another set of beginnings that I'll look forward to.

Looking for yet another smooth transition.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

True Lies

In friendship, sometimes there are times when you are confused whether to speak out the bitter truth or to conceal it. Things are worse when it comes to your best friend. You know he or she is going wrong yet telling the truth might make things worse. Like the times when your friend asks you how’s the dress he’s wearing. The dress combi might be bizarre, but saying that directly might not seem proper. Ok the dress thing is a small issue, but when it comes to important issues, the problem becomes more complicated.

If you do not point out your friend’s mistakes and someday he himself realizes them, he’ll feel really bad about you. Why didn’t you confess the truth earlier? What kinda friend are you? On the other hand, if you are frank enough to tell the mistake, the other person might not take it the right way. People sometimes find it difficult to believe that they are wrong. Being too straightforward might actually come in the way of a beautiful friendship. Also, we have to be very careful in the way we confess out the truth so that it doesn’t appear to be hurting.

You need both types of friends. Some to praise you during your difficult times (You know your life’s a mess, still there’s someone thinking you are better off) and some people to scold you for your smallest mistakes. I’m glad I have both variants of friends. It’s difficult to say which ones are more right.

But there’s one thing. Being frank at truthful at such times requires guts. It requires accepting the risk of being misunderstood. It requires saying the harsh reality knowing that it might jeopardize your friendship. It requires overcoming the temptation of avoiding the topic instead of telling the truth.

I think I’d be glad if my friends be truthful to me, even if the truth is harsh. False praise and admiration will make me happy for the moment, but will do more harm than good in the long run.

Despite this view, sometimes I choose not to spill out the harsh truth. It’s the fear of losing good friends that keeps me holding….