In friendship, sometimes there are times when you are confused whether to speak out the bitter truth or to conceal it. Things are worse when it comes to your best friend. You know he or she is going wrong yet telling the truth might make things worse. Like the times when your friend asks you how’s the dress he’s wearing. The dress combi might be bizarre, but saying that directly might not seem proper. Ok the dress thing is a small issue, but when it comes to important issues, the problem becomes more complicated.
If you do not point out your friend’s mistakes and someday he himself realizes them, he’ll feel really bad about you. Why didn’t you confess the truth earlier? What kinda friend are you? On the other hand, if you are frank enough to tell the mistake, the other person might not take it the right way. People sometimes find it difficult to believe that they are wrong. Being too straightforward might actually come in the way of a beautiful friendship. Also, we have to be very careful in the way we confess out the truth so that it doesn’t appear to be hurting.
You need both types of friends. Some to praise you during your difficult times (You know your life’s a mess, still there’s someone thinking you are better off) and some people to scold you for your smallest mistakes. I’m glad I have both variants of friends. It’s difficult to say which ones are more right.
But there’s one thing. Being frank at truthful at such times requires guts. It requires accepting the risk of being misunderstood. It requires saying the harsh reality knowing that it might jeopardize your friendship. It requires overcoming the temptation of avoiding the topic instead of telling the truth.
I think I’d be glad if my friends be truthful to me, even if the truth is harsh. False praise and admiration will make me happy for the moment, but will do more harm than good in the long run.
Despite this view, sometimes I choose not to spill out the harsh truth. It’s the fear of losing good friends that keeps me holding….
11 comments:
very well written.i find myself in such situations quite often and the same confusion troubles me.what i have realised is that there is a technique in which you present criticism and it differs for person to person.
also i donot completely agree with the last line,it is correct though, good friends are hard to find but it is important to stand up againgst them too,remember Neville Longbottom!
to put a long story short--cursed is a man who has unloving critics and uncritical lovers.keep posting...
waah yesterdays canteen discussion has spilled out over here :P
And please speak ut the harsh truth...it is for your friend to deal with it. if he cant its his loss, not yours
A good friend can tell you what the matter with you is in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
a harsh truth as you put it...but it is a necessary truth...you have to be honest with the person as wel as yourself..
@Pratiksha...Yes, i agree with you on the point that there is a technique in which you present criticism and it differs for person to person. Nice quote of Longbottom.
@Malpani....
very well said. That was precisely the whole point of my blog.
@Pratap...Sure the canteen discussion was on similar lines, but this is not that much related. I had thought of writing this from a long time. I'm not the 'Spilling out' type person and keep confidential stuff to myself.
@Yugi...Agree with you on that!
i agree very much....well written dost!!!
pratiksha put it very correctly about Neville Longbottom...
n yes, u shud speak out wat u feel...how 2 accept dat..it's not ur issue...later one shud not regret that "I cud hav said that...but i didnt..."
the canteen discussions seems to have found its route here. very much agree with whatever you said my friend .
i think its very important to speak the truth. howsoever harsh it might have been.but then there's a way to present it.either you can use absolute black or white. or skillfully put across the message using shades of grey. personally prefer the later.
keep writing..
I think it is very important to speak the truth, but at the same time it should be done carefully usually very difficult to implement...so my personal opinion would be if possible prioritize your friendship above truth...maybe you can tell him/her the truth later...
@Omkar...Yes, we shouldn't feel later that i should've said that.
@Anand...so the grey color it is!
@Tanmay...That's what i always try to do!
Post a Comment