Memory Lanes

It's been quite a while since i've had a nice face to face discussion with someone that lasted more than 15 minutes. It's not that I don't have the time to or people around me are too busy. It's just that they are too involved in their relationship with the laptop and their affair with mobile messengers.

Just about an year ago, I was waiting in college after classes having discussions in the quadrangle without realizing how hours flew by. 'Rewind button-where are you?'

I do not remember playing a serious game of cards for a long time. Half the attention goes into the facebook chat in your laptop and half into the cards. How badly I am longing for that one serious game of 'Black Queen' with my college friends. Just once.

It has been more than a semester since I've had a night-out that did not involve studying. Walking down the road and accidently meeting a long lost friend is an impossible event. Accidently getting a call from an old friend is also extremely rare. In India, walking with friends near an expensive restaurant we wished that we had the money to get in and have whatever we want. Now that the money is there, the friends go missing!

The conversations are missing. I know this is just the beginning of the road. Once I begin to work for some corporate company, life is going to be more miserable. But I never thought college life to be like this. I believe hobbies are made for times like these. My Guitar has become one of my closest friend. I am really not the kind of person who would have friends whose names like 'Facebook', "Gtalk', 'Whats app', 'BBM' et all. I feel that chatting is a complete waste of time, but that's just my opinion.

I am not some anti-social facebook hater. I sometimes do cling to these things. Just that I give them a secondary preference. If I am on my laptop doing timepass and see the person next to me getting bored, I will definately shut the thing I am doing and talk to that person. This is because I know what it feels being on the other side. It feels great to have a listener sometimes!

This little blog is my place for blabbering. I do not care if there are no viewers or no comments, it just feels so good venting out.

'Live in the moment', 'Enjoy whatever you are doing now' are phrases so true, but sometimes the past is just too golden to not think about and let go.  

A closure

The phone was ringing on a busy day. The number looked familiar, but not on the contact list. My mind wandered through the memory lanes thinking about the number.

Picking up the phone would have meant reopening a closed chapter of my life. I wasn't sure what to do. Three long years of no talking and suddenly, out of the blue you get a call. What could it be about? Why now? Where were you for so long? Are you gonna ask me any favour?

Too many questions revolving in a short period of time. The phone stops ringing. The mind is still thinking....what could it be? Is the other person in some real trouble. Has she realized about her mistake and called for giving an apology. Should I call back? The number was very much familiar, brought in a lot of memories.

Getting back some of the good friends you have lost is not such a bad idea afterall. Or maybe I am thinking a bit too much, maybe she just called to ask me a favour. Let me give a missed call atleast. No, wait, let me wait for a while if I get another call.

It's been a year since I missed that call. I never got a call again from that number. I never bothered calling, why am I such a bad person? Why are 'closures' very rigid and harsh with me, I will never know.

Today, I happened to login to one of my oldest email id's. I don't know why I did that. It's an Indiatimes email id and I am pretty sure nodoby has an email Id on that website now. But my mailbox didn't expire(probably because their server got no new email requests and kept mine alive). I saw a mail that read, 'Sanket, I just called to wish you good luck for your US trip and further studies. Have fun, stay in touch, Njoi'.

This time, I replied instantly. I picked up the phone and dialled a number, a tring and a hello.

Some closures are just temporary.

Socializing

Two words to describe me right now are 'I'm confused'. Confused regarding a lot of things.

I used to consider myself as a very social person. I Liked being around people. Did a lot of things to get everyone together. Stimulated many a conversation in a dull lit room filled with people. On the other hand, I also did many things to run away from people. Avoiding a few trips with friends, running away from social parties, sitting alone in a room filled with joyous people chatting all around on interesting topics. Sometimes you would just see me in the corner of the room sitting alone and wonder, this person, social, seriously?

When I think about this more, I ask myself, If I come to Mumbai for say 3 days, what would I like to do. Call everyone and say I am coming, meet the maximum number of friends that I can. Relieve the good old times. Or would I like to not inform everyone and meet only the closest ones. The ones who matter to me the most. Both ideas sound equally good, the second slightly better than the first.

Is this wierd? Does this happen to everyone? Oh crap, I'm so confused! This birthday, I was surrounded with a lot of people, cutting a big cake, gifts, party everything that too a couple of days before the exam. Everything that is needed to make it a good day was there. But, somehow I missed one thing that I did every birthday. I missed having one good lenthy conversation that I have every year. The person keeps on changing, but that thing remains.

First semester in US I was hanging around in a group of 12 people. Now there are 7, nobody knows the number next semeter and thereafter, but 12 is a seriously big number. When I look back, i seriously miss those days, but numbers like 12 don't really work for long. Nothing more than 4 can be called as 'ideal' is what i feel.

On trips, I seriously like to be with fewer people. I agree with many people you can have lot of activities. Games like Mafia, Antakshari, Cards, cricket, football, parties and many more things. But at some point where you reach a stage and ask yourself that do you really want to make it a school trip or an IV.

I wish to make that one good trip with not more than 5 friends and a Guitar, doesn't matter if it's only for 2 days. Location, no problem. I wish to cut out from the rest of the world for those 2 days. No phone, no chatting, no internet.

Life has a different color everyday. One day you might love to be alone and listen to a wonderful song. Next day, you would like someone to sing a good song for you. The day after you would sing it with the closest of friends. After that you would listen to that song with all your colleagues. Each time you would love it! For entirely different reasons!