Memory Lanes

It's been quite a while since i've had a nice face to face discussion with someone that lasted more than 15 minutes. It's not that I don't have the time to or people around me are too busy. It's just that they are too involved in their relationship with the laptop and their affair with mobile messengers.

Just about an year ago, I was waiting in college after classes having discussions in the quadrangle without realizing how hours flew by. 'Rewind button-where are you?'

I do not remember playing a serious game of cards for a long time. Half the attention goes into the facebook chat in your laptop and half into the cards. How badly I am longing for that one serious game of 'Black Queen' with my college friends. Just once.

It has been more than a semester since I've had a night-out that did not involve studying. Walking down the road and accidently meeting a long lost friend is an impossible event. Accidently getting a call from an old friend is also extremely rare. In India, walking with friends near an expensive restaurant we wished that we had the money to get in and have whatever we want. Now that the money is there, the friends go missing!

The conversations are missing. I know this is just the beginning of the road. Once I begin to work for some corporate company, life is going to be more miserable. But I never thought college life to be like this. I believe hobbies are made for times like these. My Guitar has become one of my closest friend. I am really not the kind of person who would have friends whose names like 'Facebook', "Gtalk', 'Whats app', 'BBM' et all. I feel that chatting is a complete waste of time, but that's just my opinion.

I am not some anti-social facebook hater. I sometimes do cling to these things. Just that I give them a secondary preference. If I am on my laptop doing timepass and see the person next to me getting bored, I will definately shut the thing I am doing and talk to that person. This is because I know what it feels being on the other side. It feels great to have a listener sometimes!

This little blog is my place for blabbering. I do not care if there are no viewers or no comments, it just feels so good venting out.

'Live in the moment', 'Enjoy whatever you are doing now' are phrases so true, but sometimes the past is just too golden to not think about and let go.  

A closure

The phone was ringing on a busy day. The number looked familiar, but not on the contact list. My mind wandered through the memory lanes thinking about the number.

Picking up the phone would have meant reopening a closed chapter of my life. I wasn't sure what to do. Three long years of no talking and suddenly, out of the blue you get a call. What could it be about? Why now? Where were you for so long? Are you gonna ask me any favour?

Too many questions revolving in a short period of time. The phone stops ringing. The mind is still thinking....what could it be? Is the other person in some real trouble. Has she realized about her mistake and called for giving an apology. Should I call back? The number was very much familiar, brought in a lot of memories.

Getting back some of the good friends you have lost is not such a bad idea afterall. Or maybe I am thinking a bit too much, maybe she just called to ask me a favour. Let me give a missed call atleast. No, wait, let me wait for a while if I get another call.

It's been a year since I missed that call. I never got a call again from that number. I never bothered calling, why am I such a bad person? Why are 'closures' very rigid and harsh with me, I will never know.

Today, I happened to login to one of my oldest email id's. I don't know why I did that. It's an Indiatimes email id and I am pretty sure nodoby has an email Id on that website now. But my mailbox didn't expire(probably because their server got no new email requests and kept mine alive). I saw a mail that read, 'Sanket, I just called to wish you good luck for your US trip and further studies. Have fun, stay in touch, Njoi'.

This time, I replied instantly. I picked up the phone and dialled a number, a tring and a hello.

Some closures are just temporary.

Socializing

Two words to describe me right now are 'I'm confused'. Confused regarding a lot of things.

I used to consider myself as a very social person. I Liked being around people. Did a lot of things to get everyone together. Stimulated many a conversation in a dull lit room filled with people. On the other hand, I also did many things to run away from people. Avoiding a few trips with friends, running away from social parties, sitting alone in a room filled with joyous people chatting all around on interesting topics. Sometimes you would just see me in the corner of the room sitting alone and wonder, this person, social, seriously?

When I think about this more, I ask myself, If I come to Mumbai for say 3 days, what would I like to do. Call everyone and say I am coming, meet the maximum number of friends that I can. Relieve the good old times. Or would I like to not inform everyone and meet only the closest ones. The ones who matter to me the most. Both ideas sound equally good, the second slightly better than the first.

Is this wierd? Does this happen to everyone? Oh crap, I'm so confused! This birthday, I was surrounded with a lot of people, cutting a big cake, gifts, party everything that too a couple of days before the exam. Everything that is needed to make it a good day was there. But, somehow I missed one thing that I did every birthday. I missed having one good lenthy conversation that I have every year. The person keeps on changing, but that thing remains.

First semester in US I was hanging around in a group of 12 people. Now there are 7, nobody knows the number next semeter and thereafter, but 12 is a seriously big number. When I look back, i seriously miss those days, but numbers like 12 don't really work for long. Nothing more than 4 can be called as 'ideal' is what i feel.

On trips, I seriously like to be with fewer people. I agree with many people you can have lot of activities. Games like Mafia, Antakshari, Cards, cricket, football, parties and many more things. But at some point where you reach a stage and ask yourself that do you really want to make it a school trip or an IV.

I wish to make that one good trip with not more than 5 friends and a Guitar, doesn't matter if it's only for 2 days. Location, no problem. I wish to cut out from the rest of the world for those 2 days. No phone, no chatting, no internet.

Life has a different color everyday. One day you might love to be alone and listen to a wonderful song. Next day, you would like someone to sing a good song for you. The day after you would sing it with the closest of friends. After that you would listen to that song with all your colleagues. Each time you would love it! For entirely different reasons!

Home Away from Home

It has been around 8 months since I’ve come to US; still the feeling of living in a different country has not totally sunk in. It still feels like being in India.

I thought eating Indian food will give you that nice ‘Reminds me of India’ feeling. But again, due to lack of rarity, that feeling doesn’t exist anymore. I am having ‘Paneer Paratha’ almost every second day; rotis and Indian vegetables everyday; rice and varieties (Puloa, Jeera Rice, Biryani, Tamarind Rice and all) with good frequency. Chai is there. You can even have the ‘Masala Pan’ here at a reasonable price.

The restaurants we often visit are Indian/Mexican/Arabic/Pakistani restaurants which serve food which comes very close to Indian food. Krazy Kebob was playing ‘Aatif Aslam’ songs the last time we went there. At any moment, one of my roomies puts on a Hindi song on You Tube. We have watched Hindi movies here in theatres as well as online. Today, we even got a chance to attend a Kailash Kher concert at Kennedy Centre. It was great to see such a large crowd turn up. I listened to foreign secretary Nirupama Rao speak at the Indian embassy.

There are lots of Indians to talk to around; lots of Indians in my courses too! India calling rates are cheaper than my local Vodafone calling rates in India. So, people back home are just a phone call away. My mom speaks to me more often now than when I was in Mumbai. Internet is on 24 hours, in bus, in college at home, in cafes, on the phones, so skype, facebook chat, g-talk makes you feel like home (although you’ll rarely ever see me on those!).

We celebrate every Indian festival. I had Sabudana Khichadi on Shiv Jayanti, Sheera in Diwali, Ganpati Aarti during Ganesh Jayanti, Garba and Dandiya dance in college, Holi is coming. I have followed cricket more in US than I did in India.

I had been in India in December and now there is no burning desire as such to go to India any sooner. This is a mini-India in itself. When I was packing my bags to go back to US again after my India trip, I was carrying a bag full of Indian food items. These things lasted for a while. Homemade food again!

Sometimes, I feel this is not the way to go. One of these days, I am going to live life differently. I am not going to start my day with ‘Aloo Patty’ and Bournvita. I am going to try different things. I am going to visit a local store or small market and buy from there. I am going to eat American food in an American restaurant (They say it’s bland…let’s taste what bland looks like!). I am going to keep my India calling off for a week (Not now, someday!). I am going to roam around the Museums and learn a few bits of history. I am going to go on a hike, going to rent a bike! Listen to some random concert, watch a live opera.

After doing those things, I’d really like to say, ‘Now, I’m missing India!’

New Semester...new beginnings

A lot has changed since my one month break in India. Life in US has taken a 360 Degree shift. Things around have changed a lot. 

Happiness is a funny thing. Last semester, I had a wonderful time, great friends around. Everything around just seemed perfect. We rocked the place. But somehow at the back of my mind, I had this feeling that life was becoming a big mess.

Enjoying the good times, I was ignorant about many things in life which weren't in the right place. It's like any sport. If you keep winning, you sometimes ignore the mistakes you are making.
After India trip, a lot has changed. Things around are not the same as they used to be. But, despite a big pile of mess around, I feel that my life is much more sorted.I feel that I am more happier than ever before. For now, I know exactly where I am heading. I know that the tangled part of my life is slowly getting sorted. I see a big pile of garbage lying around me, but I have no time to look at it. I walk past it and move on.

Sometimes Happiness comes from within and not things around you.

If everyday seems like a weekend, the actual 'weekend' loses it's value. Weekend has it's value after a tiring week. It gives you more fun if you've earned it! As life is getting busier, the courses getting tougher, there is no time to look at the mess around. Actually, there is very little time left for yourself too. I cherish this little time that I have and try to make the best use of it. 

Few months back, I had a lot of spare time and fewer friends to talk to. Now I have little time and lots of people around.

I love this life. When I look back, I've been happier during the busier times. That's when I have done the most substantial things.

A Burday Tale

There have been many a planned birthday parties....but this unplanned set of events before a friend's birthday were one of the most interesting in quite a while now.
 
Day before birthday:

11:02 pm:Returning from some other Birthday party treat, Saki Naka
 
11:10 pm:Let's eat Ice-Cream at Amul's JB Nagar
 
11:30 pm: In Front of Amul Ice Cream JB Nagar...Arre plan change, have to drop someone at her house
 
11.40 pm: Teaching the Birthday girl how to ride a bike
 
11.50 pm: Everyone walking towards Main Road, me and my friend on a bike ride, 'discussing life' 
 
11.51 pm: Arre Dude, Lets Bring a cake! Kya Bolta hai...
    Arre Par Bada Party toh Kal Dopahar ko hai nai, 'Surprise Wala'
    Aur Ek Cheez, Fact of life, Nearest Cake Shop, Merwans Andheri -25 Minutes, Powai 30 Minutes. Middle of Nowhere

Dude.

11.52 pm:Chal Round Marte Hai, Amul Shop ke Aaspass Kuch Khula Rahega to....Nahi toh Ice-Cream layenge, Ice-Cream Birthday.

11.53 pm: Friend Calls, kaha gayab ho gaye tum log.
Arre Bike thok diya maine, Do minute lagega ruk aate hai.

11.54 pm: Amul Shop, Just closing, No luck...Arre Saamne Hi Baskin Robbins Hai. Sahi.
Baskin Robbins...No Pastries.

11.55 pm: Samne wale General Shop Mein Cadbury lete hai(tradition) General Shop is half shutter down at this moment. One more friend calls, 'Baad mein phone karta hoon'

30 seconds later, Are yaha plum cake bhi hai, Utha lete hai.
Picked up a Dairy milk.

11.56 pm: Someone tells Baju wale Ice-Cream Shop mein cake milta hai.
Run to Ice-Cream Shop. No Normal cake available. Ice Cream Cake is there. 
Chalega, Ice-Cream cake. Flavour Doesn't matter.
Cake 15 minutes mein pighal jayega.....(15 minute kiske paas hain!)
Kaatega Kaise....
Do Chammach Utha ice cream ke...

11.57 pm: Phone:'Arre tum log kaha ho?, ham aa rahe hai'
Axis Bank Ke Samne. Aaja.
Phone Cut
Where the heck is Axis bank? Arre, yahi kahi hoga re, tu chal.

11.58 pm: Police Stops bike.
'Licence Dikhao'
I am searching for license hoping that I am carrying it!
'Kidhar ja rahe ho'
'Friend Cha Birthday aahe, Ithech Challo ahot'
'Ja'..

11.59 pm: Woh dekh saamne Axis Bank hai. Apne Punter log udhar hi hai.

12.00 am: Happy Birthday to you!

A few more things.

Number 1:The Cake was the best I have had in a very long time. Tired of 'Oreo Cake' in US and 'Black Forest' in Mumbai, this was something new.
Number 2: It was Vanilla Ice-Cream in centre surrounded by Chocolate at both end. It was terribly delicious. 8 people almost finished the entire 1 kg cake in no time.
Number 3: No Knife, just hath maarke, Engineering days rewinded.
Number 4: The cake was freezing cold in a Box of thermocol that said, "happy birthday - bhai' in crude handwriting....

Something different, something new, something memorable.

PS: Buy an Ice-cream cake whoever hasn't had it. It is great!

Escaping the bubble

(Warning: this post has nothing to do with any personal experience, it's just a work of fiction)

He was pressing his ear hard against the wall trying to hear everything he could. Feeling a bit sad that his own friends were gossiping about him, saying bad things. A few days ago, he used to be on the other side of the wall. He used to be one of them. Gossiping about everyone around while staying up all night. It was fun, it's always fun when the joke is on someone else and you are the one who's having a roll. But now, things have changed.

He's bored of the gossip. He's bored of the non-sense trivia. He's bored of staying in the bubble. Individual ambition sometimes takes over the group spirit. Actually, the group spirit is also weakening. He sees people secretly fulfilling their selfish interest, while he has been faithful all this while. He has seen the group divide into fragments yet pretending to be one.

Slowly, but steadily since then, he has isolated himself from the group. He is no longer interested in the politics, the back-biting, the silly jokes and all. The jokes that once upon a time entertained him have become boring and repetitive. The once enthusiastic group was clearly past its prime. He was tired of taking the initiative every-time. This task was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn't worth the effort anymore. He couldn't go alone and  do the things he liked as it would mean breaking the group spirit. 'Group Spirit' - Huh, he knew no such thing existed.

He is no longer enjoying life in the bubble. He wants to venture out. Go out in the open; do things on his own. He wants fresh air! New activities. All his social life had died in the bubble. It was a great chance to revamp it. He knew that he would end up gaining more than he was about to lose.

The next day, he hears his name faintly. He starts walking towards the 'wall'. He stops there, something has changed! Stands there and smiles. Doesn't want to listen to what's being said at the other side of the wall. His new world is so beautiful that he ceases to care what's happening inside the bubble.